Do I overthink or everyone does the same?Am I a self critic ,do I get lost in the multitude of voices that entangle my mind and create a spider web,baffling indeed!

Everytime Rosy glanced outside from the glass window panes of her little lime Green  Beat her eye’s searched for someone ,she didn’t know  what or whom was she waiting for.Tiny droplets of the season’s first rain had poured on and it hit the car glasses from left.Somewhere a drop fell on her face and a true romantic that she was, she closed her eye’s and savoured the feeling of coldness against the touch of her skin. Some of us have deep unsaid feelings attached to rain,some can associate it with joy,closeness of being with a beloved,for some it might bring in unstoppable memories.

Her heart suddenly raced and just like a pseudo reaction her hands moved to the dashboard and she switched her favourite playlist on.It played on the title song of Sanam Re..

“Bheegi bheegi sadkon me main

Tera intezaar karoon..”

She had hardly ever spoken  to Ali and whenever she had, the line would be real bad,so bad that they both resolved to stick to  messaging only.The pleasures of writing or modern day texting is by far more than talking, as writing helps one express themselves provided one must have the passion and patience to do so. She dreamt of meeting him ,going cross border to be with him and if that meant she would never be able to come back home ,let be it. Often would she imagine herself donning heavily embroidered Salwar Kameez and being with him as they lived together in the lush green fields which had snow capped mountains overlooking them.Ah call it day dreams , but atleast they made her smile .Ali made her dream , he himself looked like a dream to her.His fair cheeks had peachy blush and the long kurtas he donned made him look every bit of an Arab Sheikh.He was a self made man ,passing out from the prestigious Science University in Pakistan, he had started up his own enterprise at a budding age of twenty-five.He was a pet lover and had an adorable German shepherd ,not to forget a couple of little Love birds as well,with whom he spent time after his work.He was a devout Islam and loved and cared for his fellow-beings.She knew there was no hope nor would they ever meet,still she couldn’t delete him from her life or even if she might block his number,but it would be no use as she remembered it by heart.

Why did boundaries exist ,why did war happen , these bureaucracies and hatred inflicted upon mankind of these countries against each other.Had today been India of 1946 devoid of the Raj though but an un partitoned Nation,she could have met Ali just like she easily goes back packing across Thar or Wagah border in that case.They would both often in their chats wish this unfulfilling wish again and again.Sometimes getting baggered with the distance they would devise plans of meeting up in Dubai or Bangkok.

She had started loving and read every bit of news about Pakistan, a very unpredictable country which it is politically, news of bombardment would often come up and left her teary eyed.Earlier her thoughts of that Nation were very casual,just like any other normal country men would have.The political debacle shuts our minds to think that behind all these hulla bullo there are hearts that beat and loves that thrive just like everyone else,Religion or Nationality being just creations of Man.

The lights turned Green and a horn blowed from the Toyota that was behind her Beat.She turned on the machine and paced way ,she was just about to reach the school.The yellow and orange flower trees on her way had already announced the onset of Spring and the School was nearby.The little Beat or the Beast ,screeched as she stopped and parked it near the School Gate.The gentle wind had made waves at the hem of her long tunic and went past her hair .She tucked them in her ears and folding her hands ,leaned on the car .Her gaze fell at Riya who was running up to meet her.It was her Fourth Birthday and school was a half day for her as she would be spending the day with Mumma.It was as though reality had woken Rosy up and it was a sweet one though.She held Riya and brought her close while planting a peck on her forehead “Happy Birthday my Big girl, Mumma will make your day the most special!”

Rosy was a single mom to Riya ,as it was already three years since Dhruv left them to live his life in the US.Inspite of being a successful Investment Banker she ensured her time with Riya is never compromised and that she gave her the unconditional love that a child needs from both the parents.It is a different story that although she did her part well , it’s  only natural that she too wanted to be loved ,to have someone with whom she can share the joys ,the sorrows of life ,to have a love of her life,which in itself was a distant dream.